Jaws 3-D (1983)

**When in doubt - point a long stick toward the screen**
These 3D ventures are amusing. Whenever the plot slows down a cast member randomly picks up a long stick and points it at the camera.
This film is no exception. Whenever the plot crawls to snails pace characters start pointing long sticks at the camera for no apparent reason.
Doing most of the long stick pointing here is Dennis Quaid and Bess Armstrong - she needs a _strong arm_ to pick random objects up and point them toward the camera as often as she does.
- Potential Kermode

Any fans of the original "Jaws" (1975), hell even of the sequel (1978) need not bother with this completely unrecognisable nonsense. Believe it or not, there is still one "Brody" - "Mike" (Dennis Quaid) who wants anything to do with the sea. His previous, death defying experiences haven't put him off! Anyway, he works at a newly opened sea world where a baby great white finds it's way in for a quick snack through a broken seagate. Where's mama, though? She can't be far away! The baby shark is captured, but swiftly dies and it is as if the big one knows, and let's just say she is seriously narked. Aside from some decent underwater photography, and some talented folks doing water-batics, it's a dreadful stain on the reputation of the franchise. The opening titles offer a clue to the 3-D effects, and I do recall sitting in the Odeon in Glasgow with my cardboard glasses on wondering what all the fuss was about 40 years ago. Now I know - it was all just a badly constructed, poorly acted gimmick that is as forgettable as it is terrible.