Battleship (2012)

**Battleship might have sunk at the box office, but it's still an entertaining disaster to enjoy if you have some time to spare and nothing else to do.**
I literally watched this movie in theaters on my honeymoon - not the greatest choice for the first movie as a married couple, but thankfully she stuck with me 😂. Battleship swung for the fences in hopes of being the next Transformers and struck out. I can't say that it was a surprise that a movie based on the board game where you blindly guess where your opponent's boats are on a grid wasn't a mega-hit. There wasn't much there, to begin with, but sprinkling an alien menace on top makes everything better, right? Sadly, it did not. The effects weren't quite there, and some of the acting and characters were outrageously bad. But even with all that being said, Battleship, with the right expectations, is still an entertaining movie! Taylor Kitsch is a fun actor. Rihanna makes a feature film debut. Liam Neeson pops up. Aliens are blown up. Shut your brain off and embrace the nonsensical goofy action.

It rhymes with ship!
Actually that's a little unfair, for those after a two hour plus movie of noise and robotic like destruction, then this has a modicum of popcorn frivolity about it. But it's all so vacuous, any semblance of a story is given over for a chance to show some Transformers effects work, the human characters constantly an afterthought as they play second fiddle to another CGI action scene. It feels like an extended toy advertisement, the acting is sub-standard and the editing - appropriately enough for the film's setting - is akin to a bout of sea sickness. The action sequences all carry a familiarity about them, while like their human counterparts, the alien foe here are devoid of any rhyme or reason as to their motive and being.
Cash infused metallic porn at its most tiresome. 5/10